The Human-Sized Hamster Wheel was the first Craigslist add I posted for the competition.
It was also the first peak I got at the level of collateral damage we were about to inflict on an unknowing public with this competition. All of a sudden posts started popping up on Burning Van and Reddit. I was getting hundreds of emails a day begging to take it off my hands. Sometimes I would see multiple emails from the same person… every hour… getting progressively more despondent and angry at my lack of response. It was heart breaking. I tried responding to a couple to explain that it was a good natured hoax, but the deluge kept coming.
After the hamster wheel debacle, I thought I would go easy on the public by publishing something only Tom might find interesting. I posted a charming little add for a collection of yodel albums, along with offering information on the local yodeling scene.
Here is what I posted:
I have a rare collection of both Swiss and country style yodeling music, along with some instructional albums. I’ve been competing for the past 10 years in Sangerfest (North American swiss yodeling competition), and it has been wonderfully rewarding, but it is time to pass the torch.
I would be happy to answer any questions you have about yodeling competition, or the yodeling community here in Vancouver in general.”
Alas, the heart break was no less painful. See the post below from a lonely soul that just wanted to reach out to a fellow yodel aficionado.
After the embarrassing low response to my 3rd post, I rocketed back to respectability with 1000 feet of free green sequin material. I was getting a hit every 2 or 3 minutes with this post. Alas, still no bites from the big Tom.
I simultaneously posted this add for a full sized PBR costume.
*David falls off his chair laughing*
Thought I had a gimme here… no nibbles
We are hosting a live murder mystery at an undisclosed location in April. Seeking enthusiastic volunteers with a flair for the dramatic to come and participate in this week-long saga, with a climactic finale that will knock your socks off.
Drama experience a plus, but not necessary.
Period clothing a must.
Peacock feathers and top-hats get special nods.
Come and see who we bump off, then spend a week chasing the clues to find the killer hiding in plain sight. Maybe it will be one of you!
This is your chance to own a piece of history. Hang this one-of-a-kind portrait of the Gipper over your fireplace, between two 10-point trophy bucks, and you’ve got yourself some bonafide commie repellent.
I have a one, mint condition disco ball themed motorcycle / scooter helmet for none but the worthy. I will sell you this marvel for a measly $1 IF you engage with ME in a game of Rochambeau.
The game of Rochambeau:
It’s basically a nut-kicking contest, usually performed between two males, taking turns to see who can take the most kicks in the nuts. Whoever taps out first loses.
My third post was (I thought) a dead wringer. Alas, no nibbles. Barely any interest from the public. Epic post fail. I wallow in shame for a few hours.
I was going straight for the jugular. Just like everyone else.